A Diary of Failure #1

"Our almost-instinct almost true/ What will survive of us is love." P. Larkin

In Summer, as I, unsuccessfully, tried to stage a full-length re-run of Brideshead Revisited, an excerpt from the initial monologue of the series’ first episode - "(...) I was aghast to realize that something within me, long sickening, had quietly died (...)" - kept pounding recurrently in my mind. I felt obliged to deny that trumpet call of a coming of age, and slowly, as I also stumbled on the memories of gentler, kinder versions of myself, began the foundations of a change in behaviour that could lead me to finally be what everyone else expected me to be, but had always, in a somewhat cowardly manner, avoided being. This shall be the diary of my failure.


RRP